youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This toilet bowl is my home.
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