im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize