What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
