Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
