Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
