R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
