You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
