just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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