your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
