so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
