you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
