can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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