I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize