If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
