i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
