Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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