So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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