do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize