fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
