Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
