I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Someone signed my nipple.
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