i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
