Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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