An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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