You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
