She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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