The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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