I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
