I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
