I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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