dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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