would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize