dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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