Kiss
Puke
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
