in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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