Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I could fuck to npr.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
