smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
