It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize