I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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