thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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