Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
