Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Kapplar hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.

Fav 2 748 3096
share tweet
(760): View more from California

new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

Fav 33 918 8392
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.

Fav 37 1591 5565
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?

Fav 10 920 1645
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.

Fav 1 1872 922
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.

Fav 5 3103 1092
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

sick fucks of a feather flock together

Fav 9 2479 1090
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.

Fav 4 593 844
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend

(919): View more from North Carolina

You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...

(402): View more from Nebraska

You just don't understand... :'(

Fav 0 40 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT