So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
