I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize