I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
