Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
