I got her a Nickelback box set.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
