he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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