there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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