Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
