"it" just moved
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize