like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
