is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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