you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This is my gift to your gina
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
