If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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