so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
