as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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