You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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