So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
