What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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