I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
