i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
