he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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