I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
