can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
