Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
