Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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