I'm gonna have a badass scar
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
