Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
