So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
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