I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
