Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
