my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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