I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
