Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
