I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
