Cold hands, warm shart.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
