I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
