i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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