no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
